3.5e Lizardfolk and Myconid Monster Classes

Lizardfolk Racial Traits

Level	BAB	HD	Fort	Ref	Will	Class Features
1	+0	1d8	+0	+2	+0	+1 Natural Armor, 2 Claws (1d4), +2 Strength, -2 Intelligence, +2 Swim
2	+1	2d8	+0	+3	+0	+3 natural Armor, +2 Balance, +2 Jump
3	+1	2d8	+0	+3	+0	+5 Natural Armor, Hold Breath, 1 Bite (1d4), +2 Constitution, +4 Balance, Jump, Swim

• Skills: The lizard folk gains 4 x (2 + Int modifier) skill points at level 1. Its class skills are Balance(Dex), Jump(Str), and Swim(Str). At level 2 the Lizard folk gains 2 + Int modifier skill points. A Lizardfolk does not gains any skill points at level 3.
• Ability Adjustments: 1st Level: +2 Strength, -2 Intelligence 3rd Level: +2 Constitution
• Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A lizardfolk is proficient with simple weapons and shields.
• Racial Skill Bonuses: At level 1 a lizard folk gains +2 racial bonus to swim checks. This bonus increases to +4 at level 3. At level 2 a lizard folk gains a +2 racial bonus to both jump and balance checks. These bonuses increase to +4 at level 3.
• Natural Armor: At 1st level a lizard folk has a +1 Natural Armor bonus. This increases by 2 at each level, thus at 2nd level the natural armor bonus is +3 and at 3rd level it is +5.
• Natural Weapons: At Level 1, a lizard folk has 2 claw attacks (1d4 damage). At level 3 a lizardfolk gains a bite attack (1d4 damage).
• Hold Breath: At level 3 a lizardfolk can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to four times its Constitution score before it risks drowning.
• Automatic Languages: Common, Draconic.
• Bonus Languages: Aquan, Goblin, Gnoll, Orc.
• Favored Class: Druid

Myconid Racial Traits

• Racial Traits:
  • Tiny Plant
  • -2 Str, +2 Dex, -2 Int, +2 Wis.
  • Land speed 20 feet.

• Plant Traits:
  • Low-light vision.
  • Immunity to all mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects).
  • Immunity to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, polymorph, and stunning.
  • Not subject to critical hits.
  • Plants breathe and eat, but do not sleep.

• Automatic languages: none. Bonus languages: common, terran, undercommon, drow sign language. Myconids have no mouths and so cannot speak any language that requires speech, but they can understand, read, and write any language they know. Some take the time to learn drow sign language, to communicate with outsiders without using rapport spores.

• Class Skills: Diplomacy, Intimidate, Knowledge (nature), Listen, Move Silently, Profession (farmer), Profession (herbalist), Sense Motive, Spot, Survival.

Level	HD	BAB	Fort	Ref	Will	Skill Points	Age Range	Special
1st	1d8	0	2	0	0	(2+INT)x4	4-8	Feat, slam 1d3, Tiny
2nd	1d8	0	2	0	0		4-8	+2 Dex, +2 Cha, distress spores
3rd	2d8	1	3	0	0	(2+INT)	8-12	+2 Str, +2 Con, +2 Int, +1 natural armor, slam 1d4, Small, reproduction spores
4th	3d8	2	3	1	1	(2+INT)	12-16	Feat, +2 Str, -2 Dex, slam 1d6, Medium
5th	3d8	2	3	1	1		12-16	+2 Cha, +2 Wis, rapport spores
6th	4d8	3	4	1	1	(2+INT)	16-20	+2 Str, +2 Con, pacification spores
7th	5d8	3	4	1	1	(2+INT)	20-24	+2 Str, +2 natural armor, slam 1d8, Large
8th	5d8	3	4	1	1		20-24	+2 Con, +2 Wis, hallucination spores
9th	6d8	4	5	2	2	(2+INT)	24+	Feat, +2 Str, +2 Int, +2 Cha, Potion Making, animation spores

• Proficiencies: Slam attack only. Not proficient with any armor.
• Feats: All characters gain a feat at first level and every three hit dice thereafter. A myconid with no class levels will gain these feats at 1st, 5th, and 11th levels.
• Age Range: Myconids are unlike other monster classes in that they advance through hit dice by age.
  • If a character’s age is below the lower age limit for a level in the myconid monster class, they may not take that level, and must take a player class level instead.
  • If a character’s age is over the upper age limit for their current myconid level, they may not take levels in any class other than the myconid class.
• Slam Attack: At 1st level, a myconid has a slam attack which does 1d3 damage. The damage for this slam attack increases as indicated at levels 3, 4, and 7.
• Size Change: At 1st level, a myconid is Tiny, with a space/reach of 2.5/2.5, a size bonus of +2 to attacks and AC, a size bonus of +8 to Hide checks, and a penalty of -8 to bull rush, grapple, overrun, and trip attempts.
  • At 3rd level, the myconid grows to Small. Its space/reach increases to 5/5, its size bonus to attacks and AC drops to +1, its size bonus to Hide checks drops to +4, and its penalty to bull rush, grapple, overrun, and trip attempts drops to -4.
  • At 4th level, the myconid grows to Medium. Its size bonuses to attacks and AC, Hide checks, and penalty to bull rush, grapple, overrun, and trip attempts are all reduced to 0.
  • At 7th level, the myconid grows to Large. It gains a size bonus of +4 to bull rush, grapple, overrun, and trip attempts, a penalty of -1 to attack and AC, and a penalty of -4 to Hide checks.
• Spores: As a standard action, a myconid of 2nd level or higher can release a cloud of spores. At 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 9th level, a myconid gains a new variety of spore but does not lose access to the previous varieties. Each type of spore can be used a number of times per day equal to the myconid’s total Hit Dice (including class levels). A level 5 myconid, for example, has the first three spores (distress, reproduction, and rapport), and it can use each variety three times per day. The DC for saves to resist the effect of spores is equal to 10 + the myconid’s Wisdom modifier. Spores can be released either in a 120-foot spread or as a 40-foot ranged touch attack against a single target, as noted in the individual descriptions.
  • Distress: These spores alert all other myconids within the area that danger is near. They are released in a 120-foot spread.
  • Reproduction: These spores eventually germinate into new infant myconids. They are released as a 120-foot spread and have no detrimental effects on nonmyconids. A dying myconid of 3rd level or higher will automatically release reproduction spores.
  • Rapport: Myconids do not speak, but these spores enable them to establish telepathic communication with each other and with outsiders. A successful Fortitude saving throw negates the effect, but it is harmless. Rapport last for 30 to 60 minutes with outsiders, but for 8 hours with other myconids. Rapport spores can be released as either a 120-foot spread or a 40-foot ranged touch attack. Regardless of the release area, communication range is 120 feet once rapport is established.
  • Pacification: These spores are released as a 40-foot ranged touch attack. The target must make a Fortitude saving throw or become passive for 1 minute. Being passive is similar to being dazed, except that the target can take move actions that don’t involve attacking. This is a mind-affecting compulsion effect.
  • Hallucination: These spores are released as a 40-foot ray. The target must make a Fortitude saving throw or suffer powerful hallucinations that duplicate the effects of a confusion spell for 1 hour.
  • Animation: When released over a dead body, animation spores begin a process that covers the corpse with purple fungus. After 1d4 days, the corpse reanimates as a servant under the control of the myconid. A servant has all the characteristics of a zombie of the same size, except that it retains its previous creature type and it cannot be turned or otherwise affected as an undead. Over the course of 1d6 weeks a myconid-animated corpse slowly decays. At the end of that period it simply disintegrates into dust.
• Potion Making: A myconid of 9th level or higher may choose the Brew Potion feat, even if it is not a caster (this is not a bonus feat). It can duplicate the following effects as a cleric or druid once per day (but only for the purpose of brewing potions): bull’s strength, cure light wounds, cure moderate wounds, cure serious wounds, delay poison, endurance, endure elements, greater magic fang, invisibility to animals, lesser restoration, magic fang, negative energy protection, neutralize poison, protection from elements, remove blindness/deafness, remove disease, remove paralysis, resist elements.

3.5e Outsider Monster Classes

Ghaele Eladrin Racial Traits

As in Monster Manual I/the SRD, or:

• Racial Traits:
  • Starting Ability Score Adjustments: None.
  • Speed: Ghaele land speed is 50 feet.
  • Subtypes: A ghaele has the Chaotic and Good subtypes.
  • Low-Light Vision: Ghaeles can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. They retain the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
  • Saves: +4 racial bonus on saving throws against poison.
  • Favored Class: Whatever class you take for your first base class level.

• Outsider Traits:
  • Darkvision: Ghaeles can see in the dark up to 60 feet.
  • Unlike most other living creatures, an outsider does not have a dual nature—its soul and body form one unit. When an outsider is slain, no soul is set loose. Spells that restore souls to their bodies, such as raise dead, reincarnate, and resurrection, don’t work on an outsider. It takes a different magical effect, such as limited wish, wish, miracle, or true resurrection to restore it to life. An outsider with the native subtype can be raised, reincarnated, or resurrected just as other living creatures can be.
  • Outsiders breathe, but do not need to eat or sleep (although they can do so if they wish).

• Automatic languages: Celestial, Infernal, and Draconic. Bonus languages: Any.

• Class Skills: The ghaele's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Knowledge (any three, chosen at 1st level)(Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Sense Motive (Wis), and Spot (Wis).

Level	HD	BAB	Fort	Ref	Will	Skill Points	Special
1st	1d8	+1	+2	+2	+2	(8 + Int mod) x 4	Feat, lesser ghaele powers 1/day
2nd	2d8	+2	+3	+3	+3	8 + Int mod	+2 Dex, spells, natural armor
3rd	3d8	+3	+3	+3	+3	8 + Int mod	Feat, +2 Int, spell resistance (8+level)
4th	4d8	+4	+4	+4	+4	8 + Int mod	+2 Str, Tongues
5th	5d8	+5	+4	+4	+4	8 + Int mod	+2 Wis, Lesser ghaele powers 3/day, resistance (fire 5, cold 5, electricity 5)
6th	5d8	+5	+4	+4	+4	--	+2 Cha, Ghaele powers 1/day, protective aura (magic circle against evil)
7th	6d8	+6/+1	+5	+5	+5	8 + Int mod	Feat, +2 Str, Alternate form, light rays 2d6, gaze (5 ft., 1 HD)
8th	7d8	+7/+2	+5	+5	+5	8 + Int mod	+2 Int, Lesser ghaele powers at will, Ghaele powers 1/day or 3/day, immunities (electricity, petrification)
9th	7d8	+7/+2	+5	+5	+5	--	+2 Wis, DR 5/evil or cold iron, protective aura (minor globe of invulnerability), gaze (15 ft., 3 HD)
10th	8d8	+8/+3	+6	+6	+6	8 + Int mod	+2 Str, +2 Int, Light rays 2d8, Ghaele powers 1/day or at will
11th	8d8	+8/+3	+6	+6	+6	--	+2 Str, +2 Cha, Resistances (fire 10, cold 10), gaze (30 ft., 5 HD), Greater ghaele powers 1/day
12th	9d8	+9/+4	+6	+6	+6	8 + Int mod	Feat, +2 Str, +2 Wis, Light rays 2d12, gaze (60 ft., 5 HD)
13th	9d8	+9/+4	+6	+6	+6	--	+2 Con, greater ghaele powers 1/day or 3/day
14th	10d8	+10/+5	+7	+7	+7	8 + Int mod	+2 Str, +2 Cha, DR 10/evil and cold iron
15th	10d8	+10/+5	+7	+7	+7	--	+2 Str, +2 Con, greater ghaele powers 1/day or at will, spell resistance (13+level), SLA caster level +2

• Proficiencies: Ghaeles are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, but not with armor or shields.
• Feats: All characters gain a feat at first level and every three hit dice thereafter. A ghaele with no class levels will gain these feats at 1st, 3rd, 7th, and 12th levels.
• Lesser Ghaele Powers (Sp): A ghaele can use the following spell-like abilities once per day each: aid, alter self, color spray, comprehend languages, continual flame, cure light wounds, dancing lights, detect evil, detect thoughts, and see invisibility. At fifth level he can use them three times per day, and at eighth level he can use them at will. The ghaele's caster level for these SLAs is equal to his Racial Hit Dice (i.e., HD from ghaele levels), plus an additional increase of +2 at 15th level. Save DC 10 + spell level + Cha modifier.
• Spells: Beginning at 2nd level, a ghaele in humanoid form casts spells as a cleric of his ghaele level minus 1 (so cleric casting is progressed at every level other than 1st). A ghaele has access to any two of the following domains: Air, Animal, Chaos, Good, or Plant (plus any others from its deity).
• Natural Armor (Ex): Beginning at second level, a ghaele has natural armor equal to his ghaele level minus one.
• Spell Resistance (Ex): At third level, a ghaele gains spell resistance equal to ghaele levels plus 8. At fifteenth level, this increases by 5, to ghaele levels plus 13.
• Tongues (Su): Beginning at fourth level, a ghaele can speak with any creature that has a language. The ghaele's caster level for this effect is his ghaele level minus one. This ability is always active.
• Resistance (Ex): At fifth level, a ghaele gains resistance 5 to cold, fire, and electricity. At eighth level, he gains immunity to electricity and petrification. At eleventh level, his resistances to cold and fire increase to 10.
• Ghaele Powers (Sp): Beginning at sixth level, a ghaele can use the following spell-like abilities once per day: chain lightning, charm monster, dispel magic, hold monster, improved invisibility (self only), major image, and wall of force. At eighth level he can use any of these except chain lightning and wall of force three times per day, and at tenth level he can use any of them except chain lightning and wall of force at will. The ghaele's caster level for these SLAs is equal to his Racial Hit Dice (i.e., HD from ghaele levels), plus an additional increase of +2 at 15th level. Save DC 10 + spell level + Cha modifier.
• Protective Aura (Su): Starting at 6th level, as a free action a ghaele can surround himself with a nimbus of light having a radius of 20 feet. This light acts as a magic circle against evil (but providing +4 bonuses instead of +2 bonuses). At ninth level, the protective aura also functions as a lesser globe of invulnerability. The ghaele's caster level for these effects is his Racial Hit Dice (i.e., HD from ghaele levels). The aura can be dispelled, but the ghaele can create it again as a free action on his next turn.
• Alternate Form (Su): Upon reaching 7th level, as a standard action a ghaele can assume the form of an incorporeal globe of color 5 feet in diameter. In humanoid form, he cannot fly or use his light rays, but he can use his gaze attack and spell-like abilities, make physical attacks, and cast spells. In globe form, he can fly (at a speed of 150 feet with perfect maneuverability), use his light rays, and use spell-like abilities, but he cannot cast spells or use his gaze attack. The globe form is incorporeal, and the ghaele has no Strength score while in that form. The ghaele remains in one form until it chooses to assume a new one. A change in form cannot be dispelled, nor does the ghaele revert to any particular form when killed. A true seeing spell or ability used to view a ghaele with this ability, however, reveals both forms simultaneously.
• Light Ray (Ex): A ghaele in globe form can project two light rays per round with a range of 300 feet, dealing 2d6 damage at seventh level, 2d8 damage at tenth level, or 2d12 damage at twelfth level.
• Gaze (Su): At seventh level, a ghaele gains a gaze attack in his humanoid form that can kill or cause fear. The range of the attack and the maximum HD of creatures it can affect increases as the ghaele attains higher levels. Evil creatures of the indicated HD or less must succeed on a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 ghaele's RHD + ghaele's Cha modifier) or die instantly. Those that succeed are affected as though by a fear spell for 2d10 rounds. Nonevil creatures of the indicated HD or less and evil creatures with more than the indicated HD must succeed on a Will save or suffer the fear effect.
• Damage Reduction (Ex): Beginning at 9th level, a ghaele gains DR 5/evil or cold iron. At fourteenth level, this improves to DR 10/evil and cold iron.
• Greater Ghaele Powers (Sp): Beginning at eleventh level, a ghaele can use prismatic spray and greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only) once per day each. At thirteenth level, he can use greater teleport three times per day, and at fifteenth level he can use greater teleport at will. The ghaele's caster level for these SLAs is equal to his Racial Hit Dice (i.e., HD from ghaele levels), plus an additional increase of +2 at 15th level. Save DC 10 + spell level + Cha modifier.

Succubus Racial Traits

As in Monster Manual I/the SRD, or:

• Racial Traits:
  • Starting Ability Score Adjustments: +2 Dex, +6 Cha
  • Speed: Succubus land speed is 30 feet.
  • A succubus has the Chaotic and Evil subtypes.
  • Poison Immunity: Succubi are native to a plane where poison is omnipresent.
  • Skills: +8 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks
  • Favored Class: Whatever class you take for your first base class level.

• Outsider Traits:
  • Darkvision: Succubi can see in the dark up to 60 feet.
  • Unlike most other living creatures, an outsider does not have a dual nature—its soul and body form one unit. When an outsider is slain, no soul is set loose. Spells that restore souls to their bodies, such as raise dead, reincarnate, and resurrection, don’t work on an outsider. It takes a different magical effect, such as limited wish, wish, miracle, or true resurrection to restore it to life. An outsider with the native subtype can be raised, reincarnated, or resurrected just as other living creatures can be.
  • Outsiders breathe, but do not need to eat or sleep (although they can do so if they wish). Succubi gain satisfaction from using their Energy Drain ability, but not true sustenance.

• Automatic languages: Abyssal, Celestial, and Draconic. Bonus languages: Any.

• Class Skills: The succubus's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Knowledge (any 1, chosen at 1st level)(Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Ride (Dex), Search (Int), and Spot (Wis).

Level	HD	BAB	Fort	Ref	Will	Skill Points	Special
1st	1d8	+1	+2	+2	+2	(8 + Int mod) x 4	Feat, 2 claws 1d3, change shape (1), natural armor, resistances (acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5, fire 5), tongues, spell resistance (6+RHD)
2nd	2d8	+2	+3	+3	+3	8 + Int mod	+2 Int, lesser succubus powers 1/day, telepathy 100 ft
3rd	2d8	+2	+3	+3	+3	--	+2 Cha, fly 50 ft. (average), change shape (3)
4th	3d8	+3	+3	+3	+3	8 + Int mod	Feat, +2 Con, +2 Int, lesser succubus powers 3/day
5th	4d8	+4	+4	+4	+4	8 + Int mod	+2 Cha, energy drain 1/day, change shape (any humanoid)
6th	5d8	+5	+4	+4	+4	8 + Int mod	+2 Wis, +2 Int, lesser succubus powers at will, resistances (acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10)
7th	5d8	+5	+4	+4	+4	--	+2 Wis, +2 Cha, succubus powers 1/day, spell resistance (12+RHD)
8th	6d8	+6/+1	+5	+5	+5	8 + Int mod	Feat, +2 Cha succubus powers 3/day, electricity immunity
9th	6d8	+6/+1	+5	+5	+5	--	+2 Str, +2 Cha, energy drain at will, succubus powers at will, DR 10/cold iron or good, summon vrock (30%)

• Proficiencies: Succubi are proficient with all simple and martial weapons but not with armor or shields.
• Feats: All characters gain a feat at first level and every three hit dice thereafter. A succubus with no class levels will gain these feats at 1st, 4th, and 8th levels.
• Claws: A succubus has two claw attacks that are natural weapons dealing the indicated damage plus Strength bonus.
• Tongues (Su): A succubus can speak with any creature that has a language. The succubus's caster level for this effect is her Racial Hit Dice (i.e., Hit Dice from succubus levels) x 2. This ability is always active unless the succubus chooses to disable it as a free action. The effect can be dispelled, but the succubus can create it again on her next turn as a free action.
• Spell Resistance (Ex): A succubus has spell resistance equal to 6 + her Racial Hit Dice (i.e., Hit Dice from succubus levels). At 7th level, this increases to 12 + Racial Hit Dice.
• Change Shape (Su): At first level, a succubus chooses one Small or Medium humanoid form, and can use the Change Shape ability to assume this form at will. At third level, the succubus chooses two additional forms, and can change between these forms at will. At fifth level, the succubus can assume the form of any Small or Medium humanoid at will.
• Resistances (Ex): At first level, a succubus has resistance 5 to acid, cold, electricity, and fire. At sixth level, this resistance increases to 10.
• Natural Armor (Ex): A succubus has natural armor equal to her succubus level.
• Telepathy (Su): At second level, a succubus gains telepathy. She may communicate telepathically with any creature within 100 feet that has a language.
• Lesser Succubus Powers (Sp): At second level, a succubus can use the following spell-like abilities once per day each: detect good, detect thoughts, and suggestion. At fourth level she can use them three times per day, and at sixth level and higher she can use them at will. A succubus's caster level for all spell-like abilities is equal to her succubus level.
• Flight (Ex): At third level, a succubus gains a fly speed of 50 with average maneuverability.
• Energy Drain (Su): A succubus drains energy from a mortal it lures into some act of passion, or by simply planting a kiss on the victim. If the target is not willing to be kissed, the succubus must start a grapple, which provokes an attack of opportunity. The succubus’s kiss or embrace bestows one negative level. The kiss also has the effect of a suggestion spell, asking the victim to accept another kiss from the succubus. The Will DC to negate the effect of the suggestion and the Fortitude DC to remove the negative level is 10 + 1/2 the succubus's RHD (i.e. HD from succubus levels) + the succubus's Charisma modifier. The succubus can use this ability once per day at fifth level, at will at ninth level.
• Succubus Powers (Sp): Beginning at seventh level, a succubus can use charm monster, ethereal jaunt (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), and greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only) once per day each. At eighth level, she can use these abilities three times per day, and at ninth level, she can use them at will. A succubus's caster level for all spell-like abilities is equal to her succubus level.
• Electricity Immunity (Ex): At eighth level, a succubus is immune to electricity.
• Damage Reduction (Ex): At ninth level, a succubus gains DR 10/cold iron or good.
• Summon Vrock (Su): At ninth level, once per day a succubus can attempt to summon 1 vrock with a 30% chance of success. This ability is the equivalent of a 3rd-level spell.

3.5e Prestige Classes

 ==Psionic Unseen Seer==

As Unseen Seer in Complete Mage, except:

Entry Requirements

Skills: Hide 8 ranks, Search 8 ranks, Sense Motive 4 ranks, Psicraft 4 ranks, Spot 8 ranks

Manifesting: Ability to manifest 1st-level psionic powers, including at least two clairvoyance powers.

Class Skills

Remove Spellcraft, add Psicraft

Class Features

Change all instances of "spellcasting" to "manifesting", "arcane" to "psionic", "spell" to "power", "divination" to "clairsentience", and "cast" to "manifest".

In place of Silent Spell, the psionic unseen seer gains Subtle Manifesting

Subtle Manifesting: at 2nd level, all your powers manifest without display, with no need for a concentration check to dispense with displays. You may still manifest a power with a display if you choose.

==Survivor==

Requirements:

Base Save Bonus: Highest base save bonus must be lower than character level.

Class Traits

Hit Die: d12

Base Attack Bonus: Average

Saves: All Good

The class skills for the survivor are: Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Heal (Wis), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Wis), and Tumble (Dex)

Skill Points at Each Level: 2 + Int modifier

Class Features

Class Level Base Attack Bonus Fort Save Ref Save Will Save Special

1st +0 +2 +2 +2 DR 1/-, Uncanny Dodge

2nd +1 +3 +3 +3 DR 2/-, Evasion

3rd +1 +3 +3 +3 DR 3/-, Improved Uncanny Dodge, Mettle

4th +2 +4 +4 +4 DR 4/-, Improved Evasion

5th +2 +4 +4 +4 DR 5/-, Slippery

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A survivor gains proficiency with all armor and all shields (excluding tower shields). He neither gains nor loses proficiency with any weapon.

Damage Reduction (Ex): A survivor gains damage reduction/- equal to his survivor level. This damage reduction stacks with any other damage reduction of the "x/-" type (such as the damage reduction that is a class feature of the barbarian).

Uncanny Dodge (Ex): At 1st level, a survivor retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) even if he is caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, he still loses his Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized. If a survivor already has uncanny dodge from a different class, he automatically gains improved uncanny dodge instead.

Evasion (Ex): At 2nd level, a survivor gains the ability to avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility. If he makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, he instead takes no damage. Evasion can be used only if the survivor is wearing light armor or no armor. A helpless survivor does not gain the benefit of evasion.

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex): At 3rd level, a survivor can no longer be flanked. This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the survivor by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target has survivor levels. The levels from the classes that grant improved uncanny dodge stack to determine the minimum level a rogue must be to flank the character.

Mettle (Ex): At 3rd level, a survivor can resist magical and unusual attacks with great willpower or fortitude. If he makes a successful Will or Fortitude save against an attack that normally would have a lesser effect on a successful save (such as any spell with a saving throw entry of Will half or Fortitude partial), he instead completely negates the effect. An unconscious or sleeping survivor does not gain the benefit of mettle.

Improved Evasion (Ex): This ability, gained at 4th level, works like evasion, except that while the survivor still takes no damage on a successful Reflex saving throw against attacks, henceforth he takes only half damage on a failed save. A helpless survivor does not gain the benefit of improved evasion.

Slippery (Ex): If 5th-level survivor is affected by any effect lasting more than 1 round and fails his saving throw, he can attempt it again 1 round later at the same DC. He gets only this one extra chance to succeed on her saving throw. If the second save succeeds, it does not undo damage taken in the first round of the effect, but it applies to all other conditions applied by the effect.

3.5e Homebrew Base Classes

 ==Healer==

As in Miniatures Handbook, except:

Alignment: Any non-Evil

Healers cast spontaneously from any spell they know, and they know their entire spell list, like e.g. a Warmage or Beguiler.

At fourth level, a healer may choose either a domain or Turn Undead:

If she chooses to gain a domain, she selects any domain granted by her deity or cause. She may choose the healing domain even if her deity does not offer it. She gains the granted power of the chosen domain and adds its spells to her spells known.

If she chooses to turn undead, she may do so as a cleric a number of times per day equal to 3+her charisma modifier. She turns undead as a cleric of three levels lower would.

Healers may spontaneously cast any Sanctified spell.

Unicorn Companion: Non-Unicorn companions associated with healing and of the proper CR are available, but the alignment of the Healer's companion must match that of the Healer on at least one axis (before and after application of the template). The template applied to the Healer's companion depends on the Healer's alignment:

Lawful Good, Neutral Good, and Chaotic Good Healers may choose the Celestial Creature template (Monster Manual I/SRD).

Lawful Good and Lawful Neutral Healers may choose the Axiomatic Creature template (Planar Handbook).

Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral Healers may choose the Anarchic Creature Template (Planar Handbook).

Non-Lawful Healers may choose the Radiant Creature template (Dragon Magazine #321)

A Healer of any alignment may choose the Vivacious Creature template (Planar Handbook).

Only one of the above templates may be applied to the Healer's companion. If the Healer's alignment changes to be incompatible with her companion's alignment, the companion departs forever and the Healer may choose a new companion after 30 days or once she gains a new Healer level, whichever comes first, as if her companion had died. She does not, however, take the -4 penalty to attack and damage rolls she would if her companion had died.

The healer's spell list is as follows:

0th: create water (PHb), cure light wounds (PHb), cure minor wounds (PHb), deathwatch (PHb), detect magic (PHb), detect poison (PHb), faith healing (SpC), healthful rest (SpC), lesser vigor (SpC), light (PHb), mending (PHb), purify food and drink (PHb), preserve organ (BoVD), read magic (PHb), resistance (PHb)

1st: bless (PHb), bless water (PHb), close wounds (SpC), conduit of life (CC), cure moderate wounds (PHb), delay disease (SpC), delay poison (PHb), ease pain (BoED), endure elements (PHb), Estanna's stew (BoED), goodberry (PHb), hydrate (SS), mage armor (PHb), peacebond (CtyS), protection from evil (PHb), ray of hope (BoED), remove addiction (BoED), remove fear (PHb), remove paralysis (PHb), lesser restoration (PHb), resurgence (CDiv), sanctuary (PHb), shield (PHb), speak with animals (PHb), stabilize (SpC)

2nd: aid (PHb), avoid planar effects (PHb), body ward (CC), calm emotions (PHb), cure serious wounds (PHb), gentle repose (PHb), insignia of healing (RoD), protection from arrows (PHb), refreshment (BoED), remove blindness/deafness (PHb), remove disease (PHb), remove nausea (BoED), rigor mortis (HoH), vigor (SpC), mass lesser vigor (SpC)

3rd: blood of the martyr (BoED) channeled divine health (PHb2), create food and water (PHb), cure critical wounds (PHb), heal mount (PhB), hoard life (RotD), magic circle against evil (PHb), mass aid (PHb), neutralize poison (PHb), positive energy aura (SpC), protection from energy (PHb), regroup (PhB2), remove curse (PHb), resist energy (PHb), restoration (PHb), revenance (SpC), seed of life (CC), seek eternal rest (SpC), status (PHb), unicorn horn (CM)

4th: death ward (PHb), delay death (PHb) mass cure light wounds (PHb), darts of life (CC), energetic healing (BoED), freedom of movement (PHb), healing circle (CC), magic convalescence (PHb2), panacea (SpC), raise dead (PHb), remove fatigue (BoED), rejuvenation coccoon (SpC), revivify (SpC), sustain (BoED), tree healing (PGtF), greater vigor (SpC), sheltered vitality (SpC), warding gems (BoED)

5th: atonement (PHb), break enchantment (PHb), convert wand (BoED), dance of the unicorn (SpC), hibernate (FB), ice to flesh (FB), mass cure moderate wounds (PHb), heal (PHb), revive outsider (SpC), stone to flesh (PHb), stoneskin (PHb), true seeing (PHb), unicorn blood (CM), vigorous circle (SpC), warding gems (BoED), zone of peace (CS)

6th: mass cure serious wounds (PHb), fortunate fate (SpC), greater status (BoED), heroes' feast (PHb), regenerate (PHb), rejuvenating light (CC), renewal pact (SpC), greater restoration (PHb), mass restoration (SpC), resurrection (PHb), secure corpse (BoED)

7th: mass cure critical wounds (PHb), detoxify (ECS), repulsion (PHb), spell turning (PHb), unicorn heart (CM)

8th: discern location (PHb), holy aura (PHb), mass death ward (SpC), mass heal (PHb), mind blank (PHb), protection from spells (PHb), true resurrection (PHb), spread of contentment (BoED)

9th: foresight (PHb), freedom (PHb), gate (PHb)

==Mongrelfolk Paragon==

Game Rule Information

Mongrelfolk paragons have the following game statistics:

Alignment: Any

Hit Die: d8

Class Skills: The mongrelfolk paragon can choose any ten skills as class skills. (Knowledge skills must be selected individually.)

Skill Points at 1st level: (4 + Int modifier) x 4

Skills Points at each additional level: 4 + Int modifier

Table: The Mongrelfolk Paragon

Level Base Attack Bonus Fort Save Ref Save Will Save Special

1st +0 +2 +2 +0 Divided Ancestry, Sneak Attack

2nd +1 +3 +3 +0 Bonus Feat

3rd +2 +3 +3 +1 Flawed Paragon, Ability Boost (Dex +2)

Class Features

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Mongrelfolk paragons are proficient with all simple weapons and with light armor. In addition, a mongrelfolk paragon is proficient with any one martial weapon of their choice.

Divided Ancestry (Ex): Unlike other racial paragons, mongrelfolk paragons can take levels in more than one racial paragon class. After gaining at least one level as a mongrelfolk paragon, a character can take levels in any one other racial paragon class.

Sneak Attack (Ex): Mongrelfolk paragon levels stack with rogue levels to determine sneak attack dice. If a mongrelfolk paragon has no rogue levels, he gains sneak attack 1d6 at first level and 2d6 at third level.

Bonus Feat (Ex): At 2nd level, a mongrelfolk paragon may select any heritage or deformity feat they qualify for as a bonus feat.

Ability Boost (Ex): At 3rd level, a mongrelfolk paragon's Dexterity score increases by 2 points.

Flawed Paragon (Ex): At 3rd level, a mongrelfolk paragon gains the ability to take additional traits and flaws. You are no longer limited to only one trait and two flaws, and you are no longer limited to taking these only at first level. Instead, you may have a total number of traits plus flaws equal to your hit dice. You may gain one additional trait or flaw each time you gain a new hit die. Each time you gain a new flaw, you gain a new feat that you qualify for to go with it.

A Variety of Suggested Class Tweaks

Half caster level (Ranger, Paladin, etc) is no longer a thing. Such classes have a caster level equal to their class level. Their class level minus 3 is also acceptable, but such classes need nice things.

Barbarian
Does not gain a Constitution bonus when raging. Instead, gains +2 Fortitude, +2 to Constitution checks, and temporary hit points equal to 2 per hit die, which go away when the rage ends. These bonuses go up to 3 with Greater Rage and 4 with Mighty Rage. This eliminates "oops, my rage ended, now I'm dead" syndrome, and as a side-effect allows undead barbarians to be more effective.

Alternately, because Barbarian is a common dip for Con-focused builds that benefit in other ways from Con boosts, Barbarian keeps the Constitution bonus, all temporary Constitution bonuses that have durations (so Barbarian's Rage and Bear's Endurance but not Amulets of Health) grant temporary hit points (which expire when the Con bonus does) instead of real hit points.

Dragonfire Adept
Qualifies for metabreath feats without requiring Power Surge or other shenanigans to acquire a breath weapon with a timer.

Dragon Shaman
Add Knowledge(arcana) to class skills. It just makes sense for a class that worships dragons to have knowledge about dragons.

Druid
Add Knowledge(geography) to class skills. Makes sense for a druid to understand the lay of the land.

This, the most powerful class, also asks for a nerf. There are two decent (but probably mutually exclusive) nerfs you can try:

The less extreme nerf is to give Druid animal companion progression as a Ranger.

The more extreme nerf is to say "Spellcasting; Animal Companion; Wild Shape: Pick any two."

Favored Soul
Add Knowledge(religion) to class skills. On the one hand, you wouldn't necessarily expect a Favored Soul, granted power by a deity without asking for it, to actually know anything about deities. On the other hand, such Favored Souls can simply not put ranks in Knowledge(religion).

Fighter
Gains a fighter bonus feat every level, instead of 1st and every even level. This doesn't bump Fighter up a tier or anything, but at least now you don't have any dead levels on your way to Dungeoncrasher, and it's a "however many feats you want"-level dip instead of a 2-level dip.

Healer
Knows their entire spell list and casts spontaneously, like a Warmage or Beguiler. (I rejigger Healer a little more completely than this, but this is a solid start.)

Hexblade
Hexblade's Curse usable per encounter rather than per day.

Knight
Add Knowledge(history) to class skills.

Marshal
I personally nerf Leadership for everybody else, and then un-nerf it for Marshal. You could also consider giving Leadership to Marshal as a bonus feat.

Monk
Full BAB. Literally the least you can do for this sad, sad class.

Paladin
Smite Evil per encounter rather than per day. Consider giving this to everything with a Smite ability, such as Soulborn (see below) and Fiendish/Celestial creatures.

Remove Disease per day rather than per week.

When a character uses Smite Evil, the attack also counts as Good for the purpose of bypassing DR/Good. The same applies to all aligned Smites, e.g. Smite Good bypasses DR/Evil.

EDIT 7/26/2017: Player picks either Charisma or Wisdom. Spellcasting and all defaultly Charisma-based abilities all key off whichever they pick. Make the paladin slightly less MAD.

Ranger
Animal Companion progression at first level, progressing as druid, not as one-half druid.

Samurai
Gestalt the Samurai from Oriental Adventures with the one from Complete Warrior.

Sorcerer
Gain Eschew Materials as a bonus feat at level 1.

Wizards and Sorcerers may begin play with a familiar without having to pay the 100gp cost. Acquiring a familiar after play begins, replacing a familiar, or acquiring a familiar through the Obtain Familiar feat still costs 100gp. Many people don't realize this is a house rule, that Wizards and Sorcerers are supposed to either pony up 100gp when play begins or start without a familiar.

Any prestige class level that advances Wizard or Sorcerer spellcasting also advances familiar abilities as if it were a level of Wizard or Sorcerer. (This is as if all Wizards and Sorcerers took the Forlorn flaw and the Obtain Familiar feat.)

Soulborn
Smite Opposition per encounter rather than per day.

Swashbuckler
Proficient with bucklers. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME, DAGNABIT.

Swordsage
Skill points: the usual x4 at 1st level, not x6. Obvious typo is obviously a typo.

Wizard
A Wizard specializing in Divination must choose two banned schools, as with every other school specialization, instead of one. Splatbooks give enough Divination options, and "Scry and Die" so favored a tactic, that it's no longer a trash school like it was thought to be in the early days of 3.5.

Also, see familiar stuff under Sorcerer.

Being a Steampunk Magitek Cyborg

I have written a brief handbook for the Renegade Mastermaker, a 3.5 Eberron prestige class that allows you to become a steampunk magitek cyborg. If that sounds like your cup of tea, or you just want to read something I've written, consider reading it over on the Giant in the Playground forums: Being a Steampunk Magitek Cyborg: A Renegade Mastermaker Handbook.

Extra Spell

Extra Spell. The feat that launched a thousand arguments, once upon a time. To wit: does it allow access to spells that aren't on your class list? Or does it allow access only to spells that you would normally be able to access anyway?

The arguments were (mostly) settled when the official WotC FAQ chimed in:

Can the warmage (Complete Arcane) benefit from the Extra Spell feat?

No. Extra Spell lets you add one spell to your list of spells known, but the spell must be taken from your class spell list. Since the warmage already knows all the spells on his class spell list, this feat has no effect.

But not everybody treats the FAQ as gospel, and rightly so (often, they provide insane and self-contradictory interpretations of the rules).

Prima facie, the line in the feat about "Extra Spell is generally used to learn a specific spell that the character lacks access to and would be unable to research" seems reasonably clear-cut: it allows you to mine other class lists, because if a spell is on another class's list and not yours, you lack access to it. If so, then the FAQ is flatly contradicting the text of the feat, so the FAQ is wrong.

However, I can see how it could have been intended to mean "lacks physical access to a written version to copy into his spellbook". It's ambiguous, but I can see the possibility.

---

That said, though casters don't need nice things, I disagree with the "official" FAQ answer.

There are precedents in the Expanded Knowledge, Shape Soulmeld, and Martial Study/Stance feats, which allow you to access things you would otherwise be unable to access.

There are hardly any circumstances under which Extra Spell would be useful if you adhere to the FAQ's answer. If you're on a class with a desperately limited number of spells known, maybe. Or, as the text of the feat says, if you want a spell but can't find a scroll of it. Or if you're a Chameleon and use your free floating feat every day to temporarily learn a new spell long enough to copy it into your spellbook. So the official interpretation makes it a waste of a precious feat.

Worst of all, the official interpretation is boring.

---

So I'm inclined, in my games, to let Extra Spell take a spell off any list at all.

With the exception of known game-breaker spells (though most of those are level 9, and thus unlearnable with Extra Spell).

And with the caveat that you don't get to pick from the weird lists like Trapsmith or Adept to get a spell early; if it's available to a full caster player base class, you get it as a spell of that level, no lower.

On Qualifying

So I've been thinking about the Southern Magician and Precocious Apprentice feats.

Southern Magician is a regional feat from Races of Faerun. I allow people to ignore the region prerequisites of regional feats, though I might say that I wouldn't allow a character to take multiple regional feats with conflicting region prerequisites, on the assumption that many regional feats are probably balanced around a character being from only one region.

The relevant text of the feat is this: "Once per day per two spellcaster levels, you can cast a divine spell as an arcane spell, or vice versa."

"Psh," you might say, "That's a useless, crappy feat." And yes, yes it is.

Except for the mystic theurge's prerequisite: "Able to cast 2nd-level divine spells and 2nd-level arcane spells."

With Southern Magician, you can drastically reduce the level at which you qualify for Mystic Theurge. It still requires 6 ranks in two knowledge skills, so you'll never be able to reduce it below 4 (without Inspire Courage + Psychic Reformation shenanigans), but that's still better than the level 7 which would otherwise be the minimum.

Consider also Precocious Apprentice, from Complete Arcane. The relevant text: "Choose one 2nd-level spell from a school of magic you have access to. You gain an extra 2nd-level spell slot that must be used initially to cast only the chosen spell."

Precocious Apprentice allows you to cast a 2nd-level spell at 1st level. Southern Magician allows you to cast any divine spell as arcane and any arcane spell as divine. With these two feats, you meet the "Able to cast 2nd-level divine spells and 2nd-level arcane spells" requirement at level 1.

You'd obviously want to take a level in a second spellcasting class so you can actually derive some benefit from Mystic Theurge, and then you could Inspire Courage + Psychic Reformation your way into meeting the skill requirements, and take your first level of Mystic Theurge at 3, losing only 1 caster level in each of your casting classes.

This is all well-known trickery in optimizing circles.

---

Here's the important question: how much of this should a DM allow?

Mystic Theurge is one of those classes that a novice will look at and say "holy amazeballs, that's a ludicrously overpowered class!", and a more experienced player will look at and issue a resounding "meh". (Unless you involve Ur-Priest or Sublime Chord, in which case an experienced player will perk right up again.)

The problem is that, if you enter it as intended, even with wizard 3/archivist 3, the most efficient combination that even remotely resembles the intent of the designers, you're still 3 levels behind on both sides. You're breaking the First Rule of Practical Optimization: Thou Shalt Not Lose Caster Levels. Sure, you go to bed with more spells than a one-class caster starts the day with, but you'll be 1-2 spell levels behind for the rest of your career. Most optimizers agree the tradeoff is far from worth it, especially if your DM permits the 15-minute adventuring day (which he shouldn't).

If, on the other hand, you enter Mystic Theurge at level 3 (as a wizard/archivist), then you're only ever 1 caster level behind. Your spell level is on par with a sorcerer's, but you have more spells and the greater day-to-day flexibility of a prepared caster. That really is absurdly powerful.

Entry with Sorcerer 1/Favored Soul 1 is probably still tier 2, albeit extremely high tier 2; they get twice as many spells known and spells/day, but even that wouldn't bring their day-to-day flexibility up to the level of a prepared caster.

---

So, given that Sorcerer 1/Favored Soul 1/Mystic Theurge builds are probably at best on par with straight tier 1, it's a little incoherent to ban it without also banning all of tier 1.

But a Wizard 1/Archivist 1/Mystic Theurge build is approximately what you might call god tier, so not banning it would be insanity.

The obvious solution: make Southern Magician and Precocious Apprentice spontaneous-only. And, because casters really don't need nice things, let's make them mutually exclusive, just in case I'm wrong about the tier of Sorcerer 1/Favored Soul 1/Mystic Theurge, and thereby make it at least 4 of one, 1 of the other. Which is still 1 level earlier than prepared casters can enter; maybe this will make prepared casters not quite so much the obvious choice.

---

Precocious Apprentice
As in Complete Arcane, except:
Special: You can take this feat only as a 1st-level character.
You cannot take this feat if you have any ability to cast prepared spells. If you gain the ability to cast prepared spells, you lose the benefit of this feat.
You cannot take this feat if you have the Southern Magician feat.

Southern Magician
As in Races of Faerun, except:
Special: You cannot take this feat if you have any ability to cast prepared spells. If you gain the ability to cast prepared spells, you lose the benefit of this feat.
You cannot take this feat if you have the Precocious Apprentice feat.

And We Wonder Why People Think D&D Is Satanic

The joke that always goes around this time of year is that Jesus is a zombie and will eat your brains. But if you actually read the Gospels, you'll notice that Jesus does many things a zombie cannot do. He continues to speak, cast spells, fly, lead followers, and do all sorts of crazy things. Jesus is clearly not a zombie. Jesus is clearly a lich.

---

To qualify for lich, Jesus needs to have been caster level 11, which is pretty ludicrously high, so we'll assume he's level 11 and no higher.

Of course, to cast Raise Dead (as he does in Matthew 9, Luke 7, and, most famously, John 11) he'd have to be at least a level 9 cleric (or archivist or favored soul) anyway, so at least that fits.

He should have only been able to use Create Food and Water to feed 33 people per casting, then. Maybe he managed to get it up to 5,000 (as he does in all four Gospels, and then to 4,000 again in Mark 8 and Matthew 15) with some sort of crazy metamagic shenanigans, or maybe he homebrewed a higher-level version of the spell.

At first, I thought the spell Jesus casts in Matthew 21:19 is clearly Blight, a druid/sor/wiz spell which Jesus, as a cleric, wouldn't be able to cast -- unless he has the Decay domain (or is an archivist, or took some obscure feat just to get this spell, neither of which seems very likely). Except, while the tree "withers", the wording of the passage leaves open the possibility that it isn't actually dead, and will simply "never bear fruit again". Which is to say, he might have cast Bestow Curse -- except that Bestow Curse targets a creature. Trees are living objects, not creatures. So unless it was secretly a fig treant, this was probably Blight, and YHWH offers the Decay domain -- which is, of course, completely in keeping with YHWH's personality, albeit not quite so much with Jesus's.

Jesus heals oodles of blind people, deaf people, mute people, lepers, dropsy, withered hands, paralysis, and so on. It seems to be his very favourite thing to do. Luckily, Remove Blindness/Deafness, Remove Disease, Neutralize Poison, Restoration, Remove Paralysis, and so on, are all perfectly within his capacity to cast as a cleric 11. Not to mention the entire Cure line, which he can cast up through Mass Cure Moderate Wounds. He can even do so spontaneously, if you think he's Good or the nicer side of Neutral; but even if he isn't, he can still prepare them just fine.

And he drives out a number of demons. Dismissal serves this purpose just fine, though he does have the capacity to cast the higher level Banishment for the tougher demonic infestations.

One of Jesus's most famous spells, of course, is Water Walk. No problem there.

He calms a storm in Mark, Luke, and Matthew. Uh-oh: Control Weather is a level 7 spell! Jesus would have to be level 13 to cast it, which is just not within the realm of reason. So he must have done it with the lower-level Control Winds! As a storm god, it's perfectly reasonable for YHWH to offer the Air domain, so obviously that's how he did it. (The Air domain also gives Air Walk, explaining any situations in which Jesus flies. Not that he needs the domain to cast the spell, it's also a basic cleric 4 spell. But what's he going to prepare in that domain slot instead, Enervation?)

So that's that: Jesus is probably a level 11 cleric with the Air and Decay domains (and, of course, the lich template).

---

Notice that Jesus was, of course, not high enough to actually cast Miracle. None of his so-called "miracles" were actually Miracles, nor, as I have shown, did they need to have been. Jesus could cast every spell he is shown to have cast without resorting to Miracle. Indeed, just preparing Miracle every day and using it for every purpose would have been less impressive than showing the foresight involved in preparing the right spells on the days he'd need them. (Not to mention, the things Jesus did were pretty weaksauce and unimpressive if we postulate access to 9th-level spells. This is the spell level at which casters can start creating their own mini-universes. Withering fig trees and multiplying bread and fishes is a little impressive for a level 11 cleric, a trifling waste of time for a level 17 cleric. But this is getting a little bit into the "handicap argument".)

Obviously Jesus has the Leadership feat. Or else he's a Thrallherd, which would be more plausible except a psion can't do most of what Jesus did. So leadership it is. Probably chained leadership, even, his cohort had leadership, too, as did the cohort's cohort, etc. That's relatively unproblematic.

Ah, but when he actually became a lich, all the dead came out of their graves and started wandering around. Animate Dead is single-target. I thought for a moment Summon Undead was a possibility, but the whole line is limited to at most four at once. I seem to recall a spell in some obscure book that animates every body within a radius and can be extended or persisted, but that'd be an awfully high-level spell. So I guess I dunno about this one.

The obvious, burning question: what is Jesus's phylactery? And the equally obvious, burning answer: the Holy Grail.

Obviously, Jesus turned the Grail into his phylactery either at the Last Supper or while he was on the cross, depending on which version of the myth you go with (i.e., whether the Holy Grail is the same artifact as the Holy Chalice).

Which explains how Jesus "escaped" from the cave in which he was interred: his original body just disintegrated, and a new body formed next to his phylactery. It's so obvious!

This also throws Arthurian legend into a new light: rather than seeking the Holy Grail for glory or because their deity told them to, Arthur and his knights sought it to destroy it, so that the world could finally be rid of the menace of the lich-god Jesus.

I leave as an exercise for the reader the consideration of whether the Knights of the Round Table succeeded or failed.